When Life Gets Tough, Who Shows Up? 10 Things to Know About Social Support

by Cassidy Brydon, FAU Senior | Thursday, May 16, 2019
coffee and hand holding

Social support is key to feeling good on a daily basis and bouncing back after tough times. Some people already use social support in dealing with stress without even knowing it. Some call their social support family, friends, or squads.

No matter the name, social support is important and here are 10 things you need to know.

 

1. Social Support is…

Social support is broadly defined as verbal and nonverbal communication between a network of family, friends, neighbors, and community members that aims to better an individual's feelings of coping, competence, belonging, and/or self esteem1. The important factors of this definition are communication, network, and aims to better. Basically, social support is how your group or team works together to help one another.

 

2. Benefits of Social Support

Social support benefits your overall well being. Researchers have found both psychological and physical benefits of social support2. Benefits include:

  • Better coping and reactions
  • Increased confidence and belief in self (jargon alert: self-efficacy)
  • Knowing others are going through the same things (jargon alert: normalizing)
  • Being accepted for who you are no matter what
  • Reduced isolation
  • Increased sense of belonging
  • Faster recovery both mentally and physically
  • Live a longer healthier life

 

3. 5 types of Social Support:

You may receive different types of support from different people in your network and you may only want or need a couple of types of support3. In different situations, I tend to need different types of support which then helps me decide who I go to for help.

  1. Emotional Support: sympathy and empathy (“I feel your pain.” “I hope you know you're loved.”)
  2. Esteem Support: bolster confidence (“You’ve got this!”)
  3. Network Support: create a sense of social belonging (“You are not alone. We've got your back.”)
  4. Information Support: providing needed information (“This is the study guide you need.” “I got notes from the class you missed.”)
  5. Tangible Support: observable actions of support (“I can drive you to the airport.”)

 

4. Anyone can be part of your social network.

This may include family, friends, significant others, and people who share your interests. These individuals may include people who are members of similar clubs, organizations, religious groups, or jobs. My social network includes my family, close friends, and people who share my professional aspirations. I typically go to different people in my network for different problems.

 

5. What makes a good social support network

A good social support network involves reciprocity and equity between perceived and actual support. Reciprocity means you will support those who support you. This doesn’t necessarily mean you will do the exact same things they have done for you; but it does mean that you will support them in the best way you can and they will do the same. For a successful social support network to thrive your perception of support should equal the actual support you are receiving. This just means that what you see is also what your getting.

 

6. Quality is better than quantity.

A social support network by no means involves a mass of people. Research suggests that an average of 6 individuals within your social support network results in increased benefits4. Personally, I have about 5 people who are reliably in my support network. The most important thing to keep in mind is that having 4 quality support individuals in your network means more than having 6 individuals who sort of support you.

 

7. There is an important difference between Actual and Perceived Social Support.

The actual support you receive does not always equal the amount of support you perceive. Researchers suggest that perceived support has a greater effect on your well-being5. This is where a good support network that understands your needs comes in. For example, a close friend of mine values informational support the most. Informational support is not my strongest support skill; however, I make sure to give her the support she values. In this case, she sees the actual support I’m giving her. Before I learned this about her, I was supporting her in ways that she didn’t need or see and that left her feeling unsupported and me feeling undervalued. All in all, you and your support network greatly benefit from seeing and receiving the same kinds of support.

 

8. Risks of Social Support? Hardly any.

Few researchers find downsides to social support. By and large, social support is a really good thing. One of the few possible risks with social support involves insecurity with sensitive disclosures. For example, you may be afraid of being a burden or worry about being perceived differently after telling a friend or coworker something highly personal. If social support comes from a support group, there is a risk of unhealthy comparison either to those better off or worse off. However, there are easy fixes to these problems, including simply being aware of them. And overcoming these insecurities can be an empowering experience. Overall, research shows that we are better off receiving social support.

 

9. Social Media is the double edged sword of Social Support.

Social media simultaneously brings people together and pulls people apart. Research suggests that social media can be a source of support for students who find groups of people similar to them, but it can also be a source of stress6. If you compare the realities of your life to the photoshopped perfection of someone else’s “highlight reel” on social media, it is easy to forget that you are only seeing them at their unrealistic best. Consider putting a time limit on your social media use each day and week and monitor your feelings carefully while on social media. If your mood drops or your thoughts darken, take a break and consider why. Being a smart user can increase the social support benefits and decrease the induced stress. Hide, block, or unfollow the people that make you feel bad. Your social media use is for you, not them.

 

10. Social Support Networks evolve.

As you go through different seasons of your life, the social support types you need change. Similarly, as our needs change the individuals who offer our support may also change. As children, we rely more heavily on our parents for support; but, as we get older, friends and significant others may also become important supporters. In class and at work, a professor, mentor, or boss might become part of your tribe of supporters. My social support network definitely changed throughout my college years. I didn’t know a portion of my current support network 4 years ago and the people in my network will change again if I move to a new place.

If you take away one thing from this blog, know that social support is good and you need it. Going through the good and the bad alone always pales in comparison to going through it with support. Friends, family members, mentors, significant others, colleagues, and your favorite barista can make life so much better if you let them.

Sources and Further Reading

1 Albrecht, T. L., & Adelman, M. B. (1987). Communicating social support. Thousand Oaks, CA, US: Sage Publications, Inc.
1 Gottlieb, B. H. & Bergen, A. E. (2010). Social support concepts and measures. Journal of Psychosomatic Research, 69(5). 511-520.
2 Heinze, J. E., Kruger, D. J., Reischl, T. M., Cupal, S., Zimmerman, M. A. (2015). Relationships among disease, social support, and perceived health: A lifespan approach. American Journal of Community Psychology, 56(3), 268-279.
2 Ibrahim, N., Teo, S. S., Din, N. C., Gafor, A. H. A., & Ismail, R. (2015). The role of personality and social support in health-related quality of life in chronic kidney disease patients. PloS one, 10(7), e0129015.
2 Park, J., Tolea, M. I., Arcay, V., Lopes, Y., & Galvin, J. E. (2018). Self-efficacy and social support for psychological well-being of family caregivers of care recipients with dementia with Lewy bodies, Parkinson’s disease dementia, or Alzheimer’s disease. Social Work in Mental Health, 1-26.
3 Schaefer, C., Coyne, J. C., & Lazarus, R. S. (1981). The health-related functions of social support. Journal of behavioral medicine, 4(4), 381-406.
4 Loprinzi, P. D., & Ford, M. A. (2018). Effects of social support network size on mortality risk: Considerations by diabetes status. Diabetes Spectrum, 31(2), 189-192.
5 McDowell, T. L., & Serovich, J. M. (2007). The effect of perceived and actual social support on the mental health of HIV-positive persons. AIDS care, 19(10), 1223-1229.
6 Drouin, M., Reining, L., Flanagan, M., Carpenter, M., & Toscos, T. (2018). College Students in Distress: Can Social Media be a Source of Social Support?. College Student Journal, 52(4), 494-504.