5 Tips on Coping with Grief in a Healthy Way

Tragic life events happen to everyone all the time. Whether they are unexpected or expected, grief always accompanies these hardships. I personally have gone through many tragic life events over the years such as losing multiple family members, receiving life-altering (for the worst) news, and going through a breakup with my boyfriend of many years. The grief that accompanied each of those events was different but hurt just as much as the next one. However, the hardest part was dealing with this grief while life around me rapidly continued. Time, school, work, and life in general doesn’t slow down. Therefore, I would like to give you some helpful tips on coping with grief in a healthy way.

1. 1. Occupy your time.

Personally, when I go through tragic events, I tend to shut down and stop everything to process what just happened. However, those first few days of “shutting down” can lead to an unhealthy road of grieving. The best way to avoid this is to occupy your time. By all means, allow yourself some time to cry, scream, or whatever else you resort to, but at some point, those few days of vacation from work or extensions on assignments will end. Therefore, force yourself to do things, whether it’s watching a movie, reading, cleaning your room, etc. When you occupy your time, you force yourself to keep going and to keep your mind “off” of your tragedy.

1. 2. Utilize your family and close friends.

I honestly do not know how people can go through life without their family’s and close friends’ support. This is a MUST for me, and I encourage you to make this a priority as well. When you utilize your loved ones, it can make you feel better, loved, and supported. Sometimes a quick phone call, text, or even a quick lunch can really make the difference in your grieving process. They want to help and be there for you. They are willing to listen to you talk, cry, or scream. It is important to appreciate your family and friends’ support because it’s unhealthy to suffer alone (chances are your grieving process will also take longer if you try to go it alone).

1. 3. Do not dwell on the event.

When I say dwell, I don’t mean thinking back on the situation. It is healthy to process the situation and consider it from different angles. I mean do not “replay” the event over and over again, so that all of those initial feelings keep coming back to haunt you. If you or a family member received a terrible diagnosis, don’t just keep replaying the moment you found out. Or if you are going through a breakup, don’t think back to the moment of the breakup. This is of course very normal if you do, but it’s not necessarily healthy. This doesn’t allow you to “move on” within your grieving process. You will just keep relapsing in a dangerous cycle. It is better to think of the sweet moments and cherish those.

1. 4. Do things that make YOU happy.

It is important to remember that this is your grief and your tragedy. Therefore, you need to do things that make you happy. Despite what some may believe, it can be helpful to smile or laugh during challenging times. In fact, it is worse to always be serious and solemn. Find a stress reliever or an activity you love to do. I, personally, find going to the beach, hanging out with my friends, drinking coffee (in moderation, of course), watching TV are big stress relievers and things I love to do. These are almost always the things I wish and seek to do when I need to relax or laugh. Everyone has things they love to do; therefore, find what you love and do it.

1. 5. Don’t be afraid to get help.

If you find that dealing with your grief or pain is unbearable or that you find yourself thinking more negatively than not, do not be afraid to seek help. It is certainly not something to be ashamed of. This does not mean you have “problems” or are “weak.” It simply means you are human and could use some help from time-to-time. I would encourage you to use a mentor or someone whom you can trust. I would also highly encourage you to use FAU’s CAPS center. They are always willing to help if you need someone to talk to or need immediate help.

I hope you found/will find these five tips helpful for any current/future tragedies you may or may not go through during your time at FAU or later in life. A healthy road of grief is extremely important when it comes to your mental health.