Coping During COVID-19

I’m a Professor of Clinical Psychology at the Wilkes Honors College. I’m FAU Provost Fellow for Student Mental Health. I am the founder of FAU Thrive Wellness and Support Network. And I am still finding this situation really hard. I miss being in the same room with my students, colleagues, and friends! I am afraid and worried for the health of people I know and don’t know…

The coronavirus has put us all in new and challenging circumstances. Each person’s situation is likely to be unique. But there are things that we can all do to get through this a little more easily, regardless of whether we are working an essential position or feeling stuck home alone or amidst a boisterous family.

First, create your new normal and then try to embrace it. Try to set up some routines for yourself but keep a flexible mindset. Little morning wake up rituals will help you set the tone for the day and bedtime rituals will help you wind down to get a good night’s sleep. For the planners among you, you might develop elaborate daily schedules, but hold them lightly. Our situations continue to change and there may be a new challenge you need to respond to and times you’ll have to ditch your plan. Try Dwight Eisenhower‘s approach. He famously said that “planning is everything, the plan is nothing“.

Second, to embrace your new normal, look for the silver linings. Notice and appreciate it when you are skipping an annoying morning commute. Try to be grateful for the extra family time or quiet time or flexibility that you now have. There are assuredly some bad things happening in the world, but when you find and actively notice the good in this situation it will help you to keep a more balanced frame of mind and have joyful moments.

My third tip is to allow yourself to have joyful moments. Don’t feel guilty for finding some happiness or silliness or warmth in the current situation. I seek those moments out and try to create them for myself and others. It might be an impromptu dance-off in the kitchen, watching funny confinement home videos on YouTube, or noticing the beauty of a spring day and the warmth of the sunshine.

Speaking of sunshine- My fourth tip is to get out, stay active, and be social. Go for walks or runs or bike rides. This is a great time to slowly improve your fitness. You can work out from home, turn old gallon milk jugs into free weights, do some zoomba or yoga, or find a free online class. If you can do this with a friend on FaceTime or Skype, so much the better. You can motivate one another and keep one another accountable and stay connected.

Look for creative ways to be social. You can keep your 6 foot social distance for your safety and others and still connect. I have had social distancing walks, bike rides, cocktails, and picnics. Yesterday I brought my own food, drinks, and chair to sit 6 feet away in a friend’s backyard. This is especially important if the remote social connecting isn’t doing it for you.

And that relates to my fifth tip. While you allow your emotions to fluctuate up and down with this unpredictable situation, try to observe yourself and use your feelings as data. If you are feeling really sad or anxious or irritable or low energy, take note of it. Even if you can’t examine it in the moment, later look back and see what might have triggered those feelings. Was it too much news? Try to take a vacation from the news for a day or two or more. Were you too isolated? Or putting too much pressure on yourself, maybe being too perfectionistic? (That last one is definitely me). Eating too many Doritos with ice cream, chugging too much coffee, sleeping in too late? If you can’t figure out what the worst triggers are or how to make changes, talk it through with a friend or family member. Evaluate, take your best guess, and then make some changes, and then revaluate later. What worked for you in the past, or for a friend or celebrity, might not work for you right now. Consider this research on yourself, “me-search” and keep experimenting.

 Take good care and be kind and forgiving to yourself and those around you. We can all get through this together even when we’re apart.