Finding Your Balance On Social Media

 

“Comparison is the thief of joy.”-Theodore Roosevelt 

As a college student, I find myself in the constant loop of setting high goals for myself and becoming discouraged with others’ success. As I try to navigate the path that is the college experience, I can’t help but question where I fit in or if I deserve to be in my position. In this competitive environment, it’s easy to find yourself constantly feeling inadequate in comparison to others. This brings us to the theory of relative deprivation. 

Relative deprivation is the perception that we are worse off relative to those with whom we compare ourselves. Relative deprivation causes anger and resentment in others and within ourselves. 

According to the Oxford Reference, this concept was first introduced by American sociologist Samuel Stouffer. Stouffer researched World War II data for his book, The American Soldier, where army units with the highest rates of promotion also reported the highest rates of dissatisfaction from those who were not promoted. American sociologist Robert King Merton then further developed this theory by then arguing that higher rates of social mobility raised higher hopes, expectations, and encouraged over-optimistic social comparison. 

In a “dog-eat-dog world”, it’s easy to get caught in the competition for success. In some ways, you can lose your sense of self trying to live up to your expectations. We rob ourselves of joy, setting expectations based on our perception of others. Comparison puts a brick wall between us and our potential success. How can we overcome relative deprivation and its effects?

1. Practice Introspection

• Recognize the triggers that lead you down the rabbit hole of negativity. It is up to you to discern the values and goals that truly matter to you. Your goals will never be attainable if you have them based on someone else’s standards. 

2. Self-Validation

• To truly grow, you need to accept your feelings, thoughts, and experiences. Realize that your feeling are valid and you deserve to be heard. Once you accept yourself for who you are, you won’t feel the need to compete with others. 

3. Pat yourself on the back

• Know that you’ve worked so hard! Only you know how hard you had to work to be where you are. Out of all people to praise, it should be yourself.