The importance of being humble.

In a world becoming ever-more dominated by social media, there is a greater focus on one’s self-image. There is a larger emphasis on competition and demonstrating how you are better than others, showing how you stand out. It is during this time of inflated egos and obsession with self-images that humility is most valued. Humility can be defined as modesty, having a realistic or low view of yourself and self-importance. It is important to make the distinction between humility and low self-esteem which are often confused. There is a fine line between the two. For example, someone with low self-esteem might think that they are the worst at something and everyone else is better than them. Someone who is humble simply thinks that they are not the best, not necessarily that they are the worst but perhaps somewhere in the middle. People who are humble also do not boast of their accomplishments or abilities to others, they don’t rub it in . Humility is often an overlooked trait but here are some reasons why you should try to be more humble.

1. You will build better relationships

One of the most clear benefits of being more humble is that you will be more likable. Think about it this way, how many of your close friends are completely self-centered? How many of your friends think that they are better than everyone else and are always bragging about themselves, rubbing their accomplishments in other people’s faces? The answer is probably not many if any at all. Not many people want to be friends with those who are arrogant. There is a study that shows that humility is positively correlated with relationship outcomes such as satisfaction and forgiveness 1 . The more humble participants where, the better the predicted relationship outcomes. Humility not only opens the door to more relationships, but healthier ones too.

2. You might do more good

Although there are people who do charitable acts for purely selfish and boasting-related reasons, most people do them out of their own kindness. One study looking at the relationship between humility and other pro-social qualities found that people who are humble are more likely to help others in need than those who are not humble 2 . This is not to say that there are not charitable people who are not humble nor that being humble automatically makes you a helpful person. By having a more down-to-earth view of yourself, you will be able to relate more to others. An arrogant self-centered person may see others as beneath them, not worth the time or effort. A humble person might see those same people not as those beneath them, but as those in need. This shift in perspective could lead to more altruistic behavior. Based on the study, altruism can be positively-correlated, to some extent at least, with humility.

3. It will help you in your career

Though there may be some exceptions to this, most employers and graduate programs want humble applicants. To them someone who brags, thinks they are the best, or thinks that they know more than everyone else is someone who is difficult/impossible to work with and teach. They think that the lack of humility will be detrimental to not only you, but those you interact with. Take for example a doctor who thinks that they are the best and knows more than their colleagues. Even if they are the best in their fields, they would quickly fall behind because they are less likely to learn from other physicians who are advancing the field of medicine through research. Medicine is a rapidly changing field and there is always more to learn. If you think you know it all, then you are less likely to take the time to learn from others. Humble people are more likely to put a greater emphasis on your needs or customer’s/consumer’s needs, a beneficial trait in many professions. If you act arrogant in interviews you will probably be declined the position. Do not sell yourself short, but remember to be humble.

Sources

1 Farrell, J. E., Hook, J. N., Ramos, M., Davis, D. E., Van Tongeren, D. R., & Ruiz, J. M. (2015). Humility and relationship outcomes in couples: The mediating role of commitment. Couple and Family Psychology: Research and Practice, 4 (1), 14-26.

2 LaBouff, J. P., Rowatt, W. C., Johnson, M. K., Tsang, J.-A., & Willerton, G. M. (2012). Humble persons are more helpful than less humble persons: Evidence from three studies. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 7 (1), 16-29.