What Do Your Friends Say About You?

Do you remember that old saying, “Show me your friends and I’ll tell you who you really are''? In a small environment, like a class, or a little larger, like your dorm or the Wilkes Honors College, there are many individuals with diverse backgrounds and identities which cause people of similar interests to gravitate towards one another and form groups. It is easy to scan the Dining Hall and identify small groups of people sitting at a table. You may see the athletic students chatting about their next Intramural game or the studious kids worrying about when their next assignment is due. Ideally, each individual contributes to the holistic identity of their friend group and plays an important role.

However, when constantly surrounded by the same group of people, you may start to lose your sense of individuality, as well as your own desires and interests, if you work too hard to be accommodating. For example, if your friends are thinking of getting pizza and you are the only one in the friend group who prefers Pizza Hut, you may acquiesce and agree to go to Papa John’s with the rest. This is the concept of group influence- where the majority can alter an individual’s behavior to conform to a uniform consensus. It is important to be careful and aware of such possibilities when making decisions as a group.

Fortunately for me, the Honors College seems to have naturally developed a trend where students identify with multiple friend groups. This happens by either individually hopping around or when already existing groups merge together. It prevents students from being over-influenced by one group source, which is why I wouldn’t necessarily call our campus “cliquey”. Let's go back to that group of athletic students. They might be sitting with each other that day, but the next day they may be sitting with the studious group. I find this particularly comforting since I personally haven't ever really created a solid friend group. I mostly stick around one or two people as I don’t really gain energy from being in a crowd. I believe this group fluidity adds to the approachable ambience the campus has generated. There is not much “freshman fear” of trying to quickly find your way into a circle and settle in. When interacting with diverse groups, it allows us to be exposed to different people and perspectives which prevents us from being completely altered by one group's influence. It is rather healthy that the Honors College naturally has everyone interacting with each other in the tight-knit community, helping to recycle old judgements and introducing new ones.

If you see yourself making decisions in a group that you normally wouldn't make alone, then it is important to become self-aware or reconsider if you identify with those members’ behaviors and values. Despite some of the fallouts I've had throughout college, I’ve managed to select the few friends that I feel I am most similar with holistically. I know that even if I'm aware of it or not, I will most likely be group-influenced by them. To get straight to the point, the people who have the most influence on you are the ones that are the closest to you, hence having some control over your decisionsSelect those friends carefully and reflect on those choices from time to time. So, don’t stick too much to the clique!