Reaching for the Barre: Eating Disorders from a Dancer’s Perspective

Eating disorders are so prevalent and normalized within the dance community–a community of perfectionistic and competitive individuals–that no one bats an eye when they suspect someone is suffering. Society thinks dancers should be tall and thin so meeting those expectations is rewarded, even if the means to achieve that body shape are unhealthy. I have had multiple friends and even a dance teacher who have been and still are in the process of recovering from various eating disorders. These disorders have even become so normalized to the point that  I once had a math teacher who told me that I wouldn’t want the candy he was offering because I dance and dancers never eat. 

For me, it started with being in the dance studio fifteen hours a week, staring at myself in the mirror wearing a leotard and tights, analyzing every aspect of my body and comparing myself to everyone else in the room. Were my arms in the right position? Did my body have the correct posture and placement? Was I executing the combination correctly? Then came comments from my dance teachers who said they didn't want to see what I had eaten for lunch that day, along with other remarks about how my body should be smaller. These types of comments became incessant, and I quickly internalized them as true. I didn't directly start skipping meals or throwing up after every meal; First I  tried simply eating healthier, but didn't have quick enough results. To make matters worse, I was still stuck in the dance studio nearly every day of the week, judging myself in the mirror and hearing hurtful comments from my dance teachers. I then decided that for better results, the fastest way to lose weight was to decrease the number of calories I ate. I started to replace meals with flavored drinks so that it felt like I was consuming something, even though I wasn't. I also trained my brain to ignore body signals for hunger and to become nauseated and disgusted at the thought of eating. Not long after, my weight started to drop and I began getting smaller. At dance, the number of my teachers’ comments about my body started decreasing, but I would still look in the mirror and see what I had looked like before and compare myself to everyone else in the room. Being able to lose the initial weight only encouraged me to continue to skip meals. Since none of my friends seemed to notice, I rationalized that what I was doing was not bad and that it was okay to continue the cycle. I have since begun the process of recovery and am working through it. 

Eating Disorders – What are they?

• Eating disorders are potentially life-threatening psychological disorders that concern a person’s eating habits and self-perception of their body.
• While some eating disorders have aspects of dieting and restricting consumption of certain foods or food groups, dieting is not the same as having an eating disorder.
• Eating disorders are often accompanied by Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) – an obsessive-compulsive disorder regarding someone’s obsession with perceived defects in their appearance.

3 Most Common Eating Disorders (Myers & DeWall, 2018)

1. Anorexia Nervosa
1. Anorexia nervosa is a restrictive eating disorder where a person starves themself with the goal of losing weight and continues to starve themself even after the weight is lost to where they become severely underweight. Often, people with anorexia nervosa count calories, restrict the types of food they can consume, and exercise excessively to burn extra calories.
2. With anorexia nervosa, there is a great focus on losing weight and fears of gaining weight or becoming fat. In addition, these individuals also tend to have inaccurate self-perception of their body shape or size.
3. A variant of anorexia nervosa is atypical anorexia nervosa. In this version, the person with anorexic tendencies (as determined by the DSM-5) is not underweight.
2. Bulimia Nervosa
1. Bulimia Nervosa is an eating disorder where a person engages in binge eating episodes followed by counteractive measures to compensate for the food intake. Examples of counteractive measures include vomiting, laxatives, diuretics, fasting, excessive exercise, or a combination of multiple.
2. Binge episodes are typically emotion driven. During these episodes, the individual usually feels out of control of the food they are consuming. Afterwards, they generally feel guilty, depressed, or anxious about the amount of food they just consumed.
3. Unlike with anorexia, people with bulimia tend to maintain a relatively stable and normal weight.
3. Binge Eating Disorder (BED)
1. Binge Eating Disorder is an eating disorder like bulimia nervosa; both consist of the individual partaking in binging episodes. Except, in BED, the individual does not participate in compensatory behaviors after binging.
2. Similar to bulimia nervosa, people with BED feel out of control during binging episodes and feel distressed, guilty, remorseful, or disgusted after the fact.
3. Unlike anorexia and bulimia, most people with BED tend to be overweight or obese.

Encouraging Healthy Food Habits

Recovery isn't always linear or fast; here are some tips that I try to use regularly:

• Build a strong support system of people who will support you and encourage healthy food habits.
• Creating a support system of people I trust has been one of the most helpful things in my recovery process because they are able to encourage and support me in my recovery.
• Keep a top 5 list of things that you like about yourself that don't have to do with outward appearance to remind yourself that you are more than your body. 
• This was actually something that my therapist had me do as a “homework” assignment and it really made me think and caused me to appreciate myself, especially if I was having a bad day mentally. 
• Remember that food is your body’s fuel and that both undereating and overeating have detrimental effects
• Take a detox from social media and all of its unrealistic standards and (very) edited photos

Work Cited

Myers, D.G., & DeWall, N. (2018). Psychology - 12th Ed . New York: Worth Publishers.